The best college essays tell stories. Small, zoomed-in stories about you and your personality. Some of the best essays we’ve read are about what happened on a random Tuesday, how much you love making dinner for your family, or that time you tried to build a computer. This blog post isn’t about what to write your common app essay about, but if you’re looking for help with that-- check here, and here.
This blog post is about introductions and opening lines. The reality is that most high school students aren’t familiar with writing creative non-fiction. You’re taught to use the five-paragraph model when writing essays, which means that you probably think that your introductory paragraph needs to contain a grabber, and a few facts that back up the claims you’re about to make. You’re used to writing a thesis statement, and then furiously backing that claim up with data.
While this approach might work in your English class, it will not work for a college essay. This is not meant to come off as an attack on teachers, or high school curriculum for that matter. We want to explain how to start your story, but that requires moving away from what you’re used to doing.
Our approach is straight-forward and logical, but it doesn’t quite feel right to a lot of our clients. At first, at least. It might feel weird to you, too. Bear with us. Instead of thinking of it as an “introductory paragraph,” think of it as the beginning of your story. Yes, that’s it. It’s the first line of a 650-word story that you’re about to tell your dream college. This means that you can do away with your thesis statement and the lengthy set-up. Don’t overthink this one! The best advice we can give you is to simply start writing out the story and see where you end up. Start at the start, as they say.
Below you’ll find ten ~really~ bad examples of opening lines:
“There have been many experiences throughout my life that prove that I am a tolerant person who is good at communicating”
“Throughout history….”
“Barack Obama once said…”
“Due to the fact that I’ve moved multiple times, I’m able to connect with everyone I encounter.”
“The ACLU just reported updated statistics on voter suppression in 2020. They suggest that…”
“You might think that it’s impossible for someone who is the student body president and the head of the robotics team to run a book club for fun, but I do.”
“There has never been a more influential figure than Susan B. Anthony.”
“All that glitters is not gold.”
“I have wanted to go to X school since I could walk, and the rest of my essay will explain exactly why”
“HEY LOOK AT ME”
For lucky number ten, we’re breaking form. The last example is any kind of outlandish and provocative statement that you make in hopes of getting the attention of the admissions team. You’ll get their attention, but it will be in a bad way.
Why don’t the lines from above work? We tried to focus on things that we see often. We’ve got all of the classics: telling the reader what they’re about to read, cliché phrases, boastful language, and nods to famous people. For reasons that we’re made clear earlier this blog post, these should be avoided at all costs.
If you’re feeling stuck on your opening line, we have good news. Your version of an “opening line” is not something that your college essay needs. This is because more than likely, you’re trying to squeeze in the all too familiar thesis statement. Trust us on this one, once you’ve got the story fleshed out, you won’t even need to go back and add anything in. Let the story speak for itself, use as many details as possible, and spend your time editing the story (instead of trying to come up with introduction paragraphs and conclusions.)
Feeling stuck? Contact us here. We love helping our clients through a period of writer’s block.